We all know the answer, we just don’t like it.

• Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. – John 12:24

Dying is so vulnerable. Out of control. Scary. Jesus felt it too.

• During the days of Jesus’ life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with fervent cries and tears to the one who could save him from death – Hebrews 5:7

But Jesus was so sure of the outcome that he gave his life for it.

• For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. – Hebrews 12:2

A few months ago God put me in a spot where he told me two opposite things. One was it was time to engage in a specific type of ministry that lined up with promises he gave me long ago, and the other was to submit without hesitation to my boss, who was sending me in a completely different direction. During a bathroom break in the meeting where I heard this news, I had this conversation with God:

• Me: “You always do this to me”
• God: “Yes I do”
• Me: “I always hate it”
• God: “Yes you do. But I don’t”

I could tell that God enjoyed giving me the opportunity to trust him. I couldn’t do the thing that would fulfill his promises to me if I did the thing he asked me to do now. Remind you of someone?

• By faith Abraham, when God tested him, offered Isaac as a sacrifice. He who had embraced the promises was about to sacrifice his one and only son, even though God had said to him, “It is through Isaac that your offspring will be reckoned.” Abraham reasoned that God could even raise the dead, and so in a manner of speaking he did receive Isaac back from death. – Hebrews 11:17-19

It turns out this strange situation is normal when we walk with God. Abraham is the prototype.

• those who have the faith of Abraham. He is the father of us all. – Romans 4:16
• those who have faith are children of Abraham. – Galatians 3:7
• those who rely on faith are blessed along with Abraham, the man of faith. – Galatians 3:9

I remember one of my first attempts to die. I had this picture of all my “stuff” on the deck of a moving truck. I began throwing everything off the back. First, my obvious sinful habits, then my underlying selfishness, then my pride in the things I did well. Those were painful, but nothing like what came next: the good things in me, that God built me for. I’m like, “really, Lord? How could this be?” Then the prophetic promises of God that I held so dear. Ouch. This is ridiculous, but “Jesus, I’m giving you everything. Give it back to me if you want.” I remember he gave me back one thing: I was allowed to keep my heart for the poor. I was thankful for that, but I did feel crazy. “How much can being a disciple cost? What is left of me?”

These are the moments before multiplication. We can watch for them. Recognize them. Look forward to them. Dive into them. This is the way of the cross.

• Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it. – Matthew 10:39