I was praying with someone yesterday and one of the things that the Holy Spirit highlighted was a burden they were carrying.

It was this idea that you have to be OK with your lot in life, OK with missing out, OK with not getting to do the things that you were created for.

Because we’ll eventually go to heaven anyway, or, other people have it worse, “be joyful always“, “don’t complain“, etc.

So we sound something like, “things are hard, but I’m doing well because God is good” instead of “things are really hard and I’m in deep anguish, yet I still believe God is good”.

We asked the Holy Spirit about it, and he brought to mind this story from 1 Samuel 1. See how sadness and faith are intertwined as she shares her anguish with God. Fully sad and full of faith – with my commentary….

There was a man named Elkanah who had two wives. Peninnah had children, but Hannah had none. – she could’ve thought, “oh well, at least I can love these children”

Year after year this man went up from his town to worship and sacrifice to the Lord Almighty at Shiloh. He would give portions of the meat to his wife Peninnah and to all her sons and daughters. But to Hannah he gave a double portion because he loved her, and the Lord had closed her womb. – she could’ve thought, “at least my husband loves me”

Because the Lord had closed Hannah’s womb, her rival kept provoking her in order to irritate her. This went on year after year. Whenever Hannah went up to the house of the Lord, her rival provoked her till she wept and would not eat. Her husband Elkanah would say to her, “Hannah, why are you weeping? Why don’t you eat? Why are you downhearted? Don’t I mean more to you than ten sons?” – she could’ve thought, “I have to pull myself together, for my husband”

In her deep anguish Hannah prayed to the Lord, weeping bitterly.  As she kept on praying to the Lord, the priest Eli observed her mouth. Hannah was praying in her heart, and her lips were moving but her voice was not heard. Eli thought she was drunk and said to her, “How long are you going to stay drunk? Put away your wine.” – she could’ve said, “I’m sorry for causing a scene”

“Not so, my lord,” Hannah replied, “I am a woman who is deeply troubled. I have not been drinking wine or beer; I was pouring out my soul to the Lord.  Do not take your servant for a wicked woman; I have been praying here out of my great anguish and grief.” – she could’ve downplayed her pain

Eli answered, “Go in peace, and may the God of Israel grant you what you have asked of him.” She said, “May your servant find favor in your eyes.” Then she went her way and ate something, and her face was no longer downcast. – she could’ve let her sadness keep her from believing

Early the next morning they arose and worshiped before the Lord and then went back to their home at Ramah. Elkanah made love to his wife Hannah, and the Lord remembered her. So in the course of time Hannah became pregnant and gave birth to a son. She named him Samuel, saying, “Because I asked the Lord for him.” – she could’ve made it about herself instead of honoring God.

Walking by faith is more complicated than just being full of joy. As Paul describes it in 2 Corinthians 6:

...through glory and dishonor, bad report and good report; genuine, yet regarded as impostors; known, yet regarded as unknown; dying, and yet we live on; beaten, and yet not killed; sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; poor, yet making many rich; having nothing, and yet possessing everything.

And how Isaiah 53 describes Jesus:

He was despised and rejected by mankind, a man of suffering, and familiar with pain. Like one from whom people hide their faces he was despised, and we held him in low esteem.

And my favorite in Galatians 2:20. Not crucified like Christ, but with him. We suffer (sadness) with Jesus (faith) at the same time.

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

Let’s admit our sadness to one another. And let’s be sad with Jesus instead of pulling ourselves together for him. It doesn’t mean you’ve lost your faith.