It’s a common saying and I get what people mean, but it sets God up to get blamed for all the suffering in the world: God is in control, things are a mess, so God must want it this way. And we’re still supposed to believe he’s good.

Here’s a Bible search for control in the NASB, which is a literal translation. It renders just one verse about God being in control: “For the love of Christ controls us, having concluded this, that one died for all, therefore all died” – 2 Corinthians 5:14. And the Bible Hub and the NIV translate this Greek word as compels.

I think what people mean is that God is sovereign. “The Lord has established His throne in the heavens, And His sovereignty rules over all.” – Psalm 103:19 and “He who is the blessed and only Sovereign, the King of  kings and Lord of  lords,” – 1 Timothy 6:15

Wikipedia defines a sovereign state as having “supreme legitimate authority”. We can clearly see that some governments use that authority to control their citizens, and some use it to protect their citizens’ freedom.

Our God is sovereign, but he’s not controlling. This is demonstrated in Jesus, who didn’t try to control his life, but laid it down because he trusted in a Sovereign God:

⁵ In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: ⁶ Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; ⁷ rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. ⁸ And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death—even death on a cross! ⁹ Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, ¹⁰ that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, ¹¹ and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. – Philippians 2:5-11